By - January 27, 2010

Republican Wants to Go Green

Dear Matty,
I consider myself a republican, but I also want to save the environment. My problem, and thus my question is- What should I choose at the grocery store, paper or plastic? Paper kills trees, and plastic will end up in a landfill forever killing wildlife. HELP!

Troubled in Texas

Dear Troubled,
It would have been easier to answer “which came first, the chicken or the egg?”. Fortunately for you, Matty doesn’t duck questions like the current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

You are in luck because the earth is bipolar as well. According to some environmentalists’ estimates, it takes approximately 14 million trees to make one of those brown paper sacks that line your garbage can in the kitchen. Knocking down that kind of wood takes a lot of axe men. The plastic bag industry uses about 12 million barrels of liquid gold and Chicagoland wants to charge 15 cents per bag. I imagine a lot of ACORNS could be wrapped up in that bag fee.

When I was just a little Matty, I remember my old man bringing home a 6 pack of ice cold beer in its own plastic collar. We kids would run outside and play with those plastic rings for hours. When we were done, the wild birds would come and make jewelry for themselves as well. The circle of life, baby. In other words, stick with plastic and then reuse your plastic bag like I do, by picking up big mud pies the dog leaves on the neighbor’s lawn.

Most Sincerely,

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Comments (1)


  1. WayneBo says:

    Awesome Baby…the answer to a question that has been haunting me for years…how to use bags to complete the circle of life.

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