By - July 5, 2010

His Getaway Vehicle is a Tricycle?! I smell a Stupak Winner

The country of Canada has once again produced a STUPAK nominee for this week.  While this is not surprising, his mode of transportation is stupid even by most criminal standards.

A 36 year old man (who’s identity has not been released) has been accused of relieving a 92 year old woman of a lot of valuable possessions in Edmonton Canada this last week.  This 6 foot idiot forced his way into her home, assaulted her, took her stuff and then fled.  Real brave guy there, eh?

In order to flee Dudley Do Right and the Mounties, he flees the scene on a TRICYCLE!!! It is one of those recumbent tricycles for adults in which you can recline as your drive down the street at all of 10-15 mph.  (Since we are talking about Canada, I mean kph.)  After tiring himself from PEDALING down the street, he decides that he needs to take a nap.

“Johnny Dillinger” finds a nice patio swing to rest on, parks the trike in the grass and proceeds to take a nap.  The cops (probably armed with spit wads and other weapons that children use) find him getting some much needed REM sleep.  After resisting the police (startled from his rest no doubt), he was subdued and taken into custody.  I’m sure the Mounties had some good laughs over a cold one in talking about this clown!

First of all, anyone who decides that he needs to assault anyone should have their head examined.  Assaulting a 92 year old woman requires a certain sliminess that is reserved for a special few of any country’s finest criminals.

Then, there’s the TRIKE!  What idiot would plan on robbing somebody of thousands of dollars in valuables and then have to plot their escape using the series of bike paths?  Parking an Adult Tricycle in some one’s yard is much more obvious then, say, a Ford Focus.

Finally, after robbing someone of thousands of dollars worth of stuff, making his getaway on an Adult Big Wheel…he decides to take a nap?  On someone else’s patio?  In someone else’s swing?  No doubt this guy had taken some cash.  He couldn’t have checked into a pay per hour hotel to rest up for the next stage of Tour of Canada?  Stopped at a Gas Station to air his tires?  Grease the spokes? I could go on and on!  If you want to read more details, click here.

I’m sure he will now have plenty of time to catch up on his sleep in jail.  When he gets out, maybe he can at least his TRIKE back.  His winning this past week’s STUPAK Award, I’m sure, will be worth it all for him.

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Comments (2)


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