By - August 30, 2010

Ask Matty: Hillary’s Lost Nut Cracker

Dear Matty,

Do you think Hillary Clinton would be doing a better job, as the President of the United States, than Obama? My dog Peanuts thinks so.

LaVern in Waverly, Nebraska

Dear LaVern,

Your dog’s political sense only rivals his sense of smell and something smells really bad in D.C. Hind-site is 20/20 and we are nearly going blind. That is a question the Democrat faithful have been asking themselves since the bill from Inauguration Day came due and Obama decided to channel his inner Jimmy Carter to set policy and govern.

I have to agree with Peanuts.  If you think back only 3 short years ago, the whole world anointed Hillary the next president.  She had reputable momentum and more cash on hand than George Soros’ niece.  However, when the battle started, she faltered immediately.  Her Waterloo was actually underestimating the organization power in the Iowa Caucus. 

She made the mistake of recruiting  local Iowans to handle local Iowa politics.  If Iowa had a traditional nominating process where only IOWANS could participate, I truly believe we would be experiencing another Clinton presidency. But, when you go against a professional organizer, you are doomed to lose.  Ever seen one chained to a tree?  When they insert a catheter without any anesthetia, you know they are playing for keeps.

According to my sources,  Obama had the luxury of busing down his surrogates (the rent-a-mob from Illinois) and had them challenge any competing candidate’s supporters with bigotry claims.  Nothing like being called a racist when you are trying to explain how socializing the country is bad.  It still is happening today.  Watch any political debate and you can double down on the race card being played.

If you are a Hillary Clinton supporter here are two signs to watch for this fall– she resigns within a month before or after the November elections (think of the blood-letting last half-hour of Goodfellas), and if she is seen publicly with Bill (outside of a funeral/wedding/heart procedure).  Bill is still seen, by some, as a rock-star.  Hillary is never among his groupies.

Bill, on a short leash, will be telling the Clintonites that she took Bob Barker’s advice.  President Obama put her as Sec. of State to keep her at arm’s distance.  To paraphrase L.B.J.:

“It’s probably better to have her inside the tent p**ing out, than outside the tent p**ing in.”

Also, I think she would have worn the “mommy jeans” a little better to throw out her first pitch as president during an All-Star game.  Hillary is man enough to throw a baseball than Obama did this year!    She is a more loyal to our allies and a tougher cookie than the current occupier of the White House and she wouldn’t spend squat going on dates with Bill ever.  She would just give money to silence the escorts!

Small rumor floating out there is Obama will ask her to be his VP by the end of 2013.  Crazy Joe Biden has had multiple surgeries to correct a brain aneurysm and Obama loves change.  Crazy Joe is still Crazy Joe.  No word yet on Joe’s foot-in-the-mouth procedure.  (Call him Dr. Scholls!)  Would you trust her being your vice president?  I would not want to be the official food taster, envelope opener or the guy who starts the limousine each morning.  Toss a doggy treat in for Peanuts for being a smart puppy and reward yourself with many visits to the Red State Report.  Keep sending your questions to Ask Matty.

Get your Hillary nutcracker at Amazon:

Hillary Nutcracker

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Comments (1)


  1. Lanny Mapa says:

    Rather effectively put.

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