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By - November 3, 2010

Big Xll Lingerie Bowl or Bust

Dallas, Texas,

Big XII commissioner Dan Beebe is expected to make an important announcement soon concerning Big XII football.

In response to complaints waged by Missouri football Coach Gary Pinkel,  Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy and ABC college football commentator Ed Cunningham (his judgement is the state of art- he should be on CSI) that Nebraska’s defensive players actually tackle in games.  Commissioner Beebe formed a committee comprised of the afore mentioned gentlemen to explore additional ideas to enhance the Big XII. Our insiders tell us this committee is expected to announce soon that Big XII football will adopt the rules of flag football only (flags will consist of the school’s colors) and all games will be played to a tie.  The additional option of bringing a snack and juice box for the players after the games will be left up to the parental committees of each team.

It is rumored that coach Pinkel lobbied for Powder Puff football, but was unsuccessful in his bid.  When asked about the rumor Pinkel answered:  The Big 10 did not see the genius in my suggestions.  I am not suggesting that was the reason the Big 10 turned Missouri down, but I’m sure their short-sightedness had something to do with it.

Pinkel added that Missouri could easily change its schedule to adjust for the sororities that would need to added to the schedule.  Pinkel was happy Nebraska was moving to the Big 10 because he believes Nebraska’s sorority girls would tackle too hard.

When asked to respond to the potential announcement from the Big XII, Nebraska head football coach Bo Pelini  stated, “ We are focused on this week at Iowa State..next question.”

Other Big XII coaches were unavailable for comment concerning this potential change in the Big XII. Colorado coach Dan Hawkins is rumored to be interested in taking this idea to the Pac 10, but then he will do anything to save his job.

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