Quantcast

By - January 4, 2011

2010 Red State Report Awards

The Red State Report journalists (Wayne, Skip, and Matty) held a beer summit in the press room of one of its founders, to award its annual Red State Report ‘Red Star of the Year.’ We wished for it to be done on a picnic table in the Rose Garden, but the weather was a robust 6 degrees and we did not want to fall victim to the weather like President Harrison .  The rule of the evening was to have a round table discussion and toss out our thoughts about people or organizations and who we thought best exemplified the heart of the Red State Report and its readers.

Wayne

Governor of Louisiana  Bobby Jindal– pushing back on the federal government during the famous oil spill in the Gulf. The media really shed a tear over this one.  An even a bigger tear formed from the amount of wildlife killed from the spill, wouldn’t even fill a construction site dumpster.  Would love to have seen him follow through and actually dare Herr Obama to arrest him!

Governor of Arizona Jan Brewer– strict immigration reform enforcer.  Signed aggressive right-to-carry legislation in which the 2nd Amendment IS the permit for felony-free citizens to carry a non-concealed weapon within Arizona’s borders.  Actually utilizing the words of the Constitution…what a great idea…wish I would have thought of it.

Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan– one of the Red Star’s brightest fiscal disciples and pro-growth apostle.  Plus, I am envious of his full head of hair!

US Military- still performing superbly all the while being under duress from the ‘Rules of Engagement’ imposed on them by Congress.

Skip

Sarah Palin- The conservative ‘Joan of Arc’, taking many slings and arrows on behalf of millions of Conservatives.  She will be the political King/Queen maker in 2012.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie-Our very first Red Star Recipient. The  300 lb. plus Giant of rumbling, tumbling, union buster.  Other Republican politicians could learn a thing or two by watching how a Conservative is supposed to govern.

South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint– Restoring the conservative movement.  He is leading the way for Senate Republicans and vigorously backing the Tea Party supported candidates.

Virginia Rep.Robert Goodlatte of Virginia–  Had the foresight to suggest Congress must read the Constitution before starting its session.  I will be interested in seeing who shows up.  A beatnik banging bongos in a coffee house probably has a larger audience.

The Big 10 Athletic Conference– For unanimously accepting Nebraska into the Big 10 Conference, leaving Texas without their conference championship game.  As if Texas would have been there anyway…Go TCU!!

Matty

Tea Party People– Proving ‘We the People’ still matter.  From a obscure grassroots movement to a Political Powerhouse that has anywhere from 16-25% of the American Electorate participating in it (and growing), they will be a force for as long as our Government spends more than it makes and tramples on the Constitution.  We figure that it should be phased out around the year 2200 or so!

Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann– Brains, beauty and the guts to call out the media to investigate Congress for un-American acts.  A warrior for capitalism and smaller government. She walks the talk unapologetically.  Maybe Michelle can share a pair of cojones with a few male Republican members.

Betty Whiteand Brett Favre– Both of these people are the  “Iron Men” of their respective businesses, enjoying a year of great commercial success. Both are a real inspiration for the mature crowd.  If only Farve was sexting Betty…now that would be a score!

Chilean Miners– 69 days in a hole with your fellow employees, I can barely make it through lunch time with mine.  They showed true brotherhood and faith as they awaited rescue.  A few were exposed as having multiple girlfriends and probably wished to remain down in the pit.

Drum roll….. The Red Star Recipient is….

Tea Party People

Political Moment of the YearBill Clinton coming back home to roost at a White House Press Conference. Bill and Barack walk out  (with Bill one steap ahead of him no less) to talk about the “Tax Plan” Compromise reached in December.  Suddenly, Barack has to leave because he has left Michelle waiting at a Christmas Party.  Are you Serial?  Excuse Me?  Bill then went on to hold court with the Press much as he did througout the 1990’s, especially about Monica.  It was reported that Bill was heard to say to President Obama “Please see to it that my bags are put in the Lincoln Room…here’s a fiver for you!”

Exit stage Right

Skip, being a devote Superman follower, mentioned we needed a Bizarro World like winner as well.  Since these people exemplify the opposite qualities of a Red Star Award recipient. We decided to call it the Bizarro American Award, and its strong enough to withstand a Bill Ayers bombing.

Bizarro American Award Nominees:

Big 12 Commissioner Dan Beebe and his jack booted refs with their treatment of  the Nebraska football team during the game.  We are very close to the situation here at Red State Report, and probably as emotional about this as Chris Matthews is about his hero.  Nixon got better treatment from Kennedy operatives in the 1960  presidential election.

Charlie Waters (Charles Wrangle melded with Maxine Waters)– these two act like magpies, they both like to take shiny things into their government nests.

Dirty Harry Pelosi– sounds like an adult film.  Chicka Chicka Wah Wah!!  Pelosi and Reid promised America a “clean my jet house team” to eliminate the crooks in Congress.  These two have way too many Bizarro America accomplishments that we wouldn’t get these awards published until March if we had to list them all.

Crazy Joe Biden– delivers more  treats than a Good Humor man.  He also has an ongoing 10 year record for most meaningless words uttered.  His motorcade is second only to Idi Amin’s motorcade in killing pedestrians.

New York Michael Bloomberg– he may be short on stature but he is tall on skirting term limits.  King George III and the Daley family will be watching if he can surpass their grips on power.  His handling of the unions in relation to the snow storms show him to be a pol instead of a leader. Took some of the salt out of New Yorker’s food but forgot to put it out on the street.  You could drive 54 miles to Trenton and learn a thing or two from Gov. Christie.

State of California-Cruising on autopilot when it comes to managing their $136+ billion deficit.  We all own a little piece of the Golden State. Where else can a lowly government worker make over a million dollars a year in salary and benefits.  To paraphrase Top Gun, “California, your ego is writing checks your state can not cash.”  A grateful nation appreciates the 70’s re-tread.  Gov. Moonbeam Brown, you’ve  just put into office, again. He is greatly responsible for its current economic woes by his decision in 1977 to sign legislation allowing public sector employees to unionize.  This is the home of the “Can of Food for a Joint” program.  (No, we’re not kidding)  What else can we expect?

President Obama and the Media- They are part Baghdad Bob and part Barbara Streisand.  Makes us at Red State Report relevant.

Stupak, Stupak, Stupak and more Stupak (D MI)- Wayne is jumping on the floor like Tom Cruise on Oprah’s couch.  He is the political equivalent to Chernobyl, New Coke and Toyota Brakes all rolled up into one.  He is like the TV  series that stays on a season or two after it should have been taken off the air.  Stupak jumped the Shark by showing up in public anytime after the healthcare vote!

Producer of Rachel Maddow show– Too few of viewers so we had to link who she is. More teenagers play Pong on their Ataris than watch her in a given night. Just know she defines militant feminist media.  Picture should have been with a camouflage uniform instead of the flag, don’t you think.

Ben Nelson– A “Conservative” Democrat who votes with Harry Reid and the liberals, except when Nebraskans are watching.  He caved in on the health care vote where he blatantly lied to the nation, which  gave us all the “Cornhusker Kickback.”

George Soros– Atheist billionaire who takes great pride in funding anti-American groups.  He is not only shorting the US dollar, but is also giving us a President who is turning the country into another  socialist disaster. No doubt that he will be receiving a United Nation Secretary-General appointment some day.

Charlie Crist– Turncoat with more political sides that a pentagram.  Plays with the Republicans but loves the Liberals.  He got his…once in May and once in November.

The drum roll……The Red State Report’s Bizarro American recipient is…………..

Vice President Joe Biden-Crazy Joe is the Christmas Gift that gives all year round.  This is a big F$#&*(@ deal that he won this award from us this year!  Thank you Mr. Vice President!

Red State Report

Share on Twitter Share on Facebook

Comments (1)

 

  1. Pistachio Girl says:

    Well played boys, keep up the good work in 2011!

Leave a Reply