By - July 1, 2011

Unconfirmed Breaking News/ Random Thoughts

Author:  Blake Grantham

BREAKING NEWS – Eugene, Oregon – The City Council votes down a proposal to say the Pledge of Allegiance before every council meeting. Mayor Kitty Piercy stated the Pledge of Allegiance is divisive and insensitive to the people in their city who have no loyalty whatsoever to the U.S. form of government. Which includes zealous supporters of communism, Muslim extremists, and the ACLU.

BREAKING NEWS – San Francisco, California – Two students on a school bus are seen giggling at a man dancing, while they’re on a field trip. Many parents in the city are outraged at the new law which mandates that during the school year, all grammar students must attend at least one state sanctioned freak show.

BREAKING NEWS – Palm Beach, Florida – Chris Hansen, the NBC anchor who regularly caught internet pedophiles on the show “To Catch a Predator” has been caught cheating on his wife with a reporter in Florida. In his defense, Hansen stated that he may have exercised poor judgment, but he emphasized that he had enough respect for his wife, to insure that his present and past mistresses were all at least 21.

BREAKING NEWS – Orlando, Florida – After the defense rested at the Casey Anthony murder trial, the Guinness Book of World Records announces that the Anthony family and their attorneys have broken the record for the most lies and ridiculous legal theories stated in a U.S. courtroom. They edged out the previous holders of both records, which was O.J. Simpson and his team of lawyers.

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