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By - August 20, 2011

Unconfirmed Breaking News/Aug 20th

AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Vice President Joe Biden proudly displays a book he recently completed. A member of his staff stated that he worked feverishly over the past month to finish it, going through several boxes of crayons and coloring the last few pages.

 

 

 

BREAKING NEWS – Chatfield, Minnesota – The Secret Service and the police had to restrain some grammar school students from injuring President Obama, after their initial smiles turned into anger. When one of the students shouted out how far the United States will be in debt when they became adults, the rest of them immediately became hostile and aggressive. Fortunately, the President only received a minor injury after one of the students hit him in the back of the head with a math book.

 

BREAKING NEWS – Detroit, Michigan – Congresswoman Maxine Waters says that she and other democrats are poised to be “unleashed” on President Obama based on his poor performance. Upon hearing her comment and consulting with his advisors, President Obama responded by stating that Congresswoman Waters’ real problem is, that she can’t accept the fact that he looks “way cooler” in glasses than she does.

BREAKING NEWS – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania – Mayor Michael Nutter imposes a curfew in Philadelphia to suppress teenage flash mobs from shoplifting as they raid stores throughout the city. The ACLU stated that Mayor Nutter should not label the teenagers as thieves, because he doesn’t know for sure if any of them plans to eventually return to the store to pay for the merchandise that they previously covertly acquired.

 

 

BREAKING NEWS – Malagueta, Spain – Despite the objections from many doctors, Pedro Muriel as well as many other bullfighters without health insurance, are now using a radical new method as opposed to getting a standard colonoscopy.

Anybody wondering who Blake Grantham is.  He is a new contributor to Red State Report, but he is also an established stand up comedian.  He is opening for Rep Allen West of FL in Washington D.C..  Here is the promo to the event

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqIUnFcuFyY

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