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By - October 7, 2011

Unconfirmed Breaking News/Oct 7th

AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM

BREAKING NEWS – Fremont, California – An employee of bankrupt solar panel company Solyndra, shows President Obama the area of the building where the $528 million given to them by the federal government, literally vanished before their eyes. Based upon this new information, U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder has issued an arrest warrant for David Copperfield.

 

 

BREAKING NEWS – Kansas City, Missouri – Hallmark Greeting Cards has announced that it will conduct an internal investigation, to determine who in their company anonymously sent the parents of U.S. born Al Qaeda cleric Anwar al-Awlaki, a greeting card. Anwar al-Awlaki was recently killed by the U.S. military in Yemen after he was linked to several attacks on Americans. His parents state that they were deeply offended by the card that read:

We’re sorry that your son is gone,
and we hope the violence ceases
But because he was hit by a U.S. missile,
may he rest in pieces

BREAKING NEWS – Perugia, Italy – Amanda Knox is pictured emotionally devastated as she leaves a courtroom in Italy. She was reduced to tears after she was informed that when she arrives in America, the closest thing to real Italian food is the Olive Garden.

 

 

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Top executives for bankrupt solar panel company Solyndra Brian Harrison and William Stover, promise Congress during a hearing, that they are going after the individual who is most responsible for them losing their business. They both stated that they plan on filing a 20 billion dollar lawsuit against the sun. Legal experts state that this unprecedented move will be problematic because, our nearest star has to be served first, and it’s 93 million miles away. And secondly, building a gigantic fireproof courtroom isn’t likely or practical. An unconfirmed report from NASA is that the sun is threatening to fry this planet if this frivolous lawsuit is filed.

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The Washington Post is now reporting that President of the ACLU Susan Herman is currently in hiding at an undisclosed location. Immediately after U.S. born Al Qaeda radical cleric Anwar al-Awlaki was killed by a missile strike in Yemen, the ACLU has stated that the Pentagon violated both International and U.S. laws. Herman was last seen running out of her building after five predator drones in formation flew over the ACLU Headquarters, dropping leaflets in the parking lot with her picture on it.

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