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By - November 17, 2011

Unconfirmed Breaking News/Nov 11th

AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Filmmaker Michael Moore’s patience finally pays off, as he stands with some of the Wall Street occupiers. He is pictured salivating as he watches the arrival of a pizza delivery man.

 

 

 

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Protestors state that they are planning on going to several southwestern states, and will camp in front of the homes of multi-millionaires that control the sheep industry. They call their new tactic, “Occupy Wool Street”.

 

 

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Helicopter pilots from Marine 1, state that they will seek an early retirement from the military as soon as possible, prompted by a new executive order from President Obama. Because of the continuing rising debt, during the short flights from the White House to Andrews Air Force Base, the pilots are now mandated to chip in for gas.

 

 

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – The New York City Police Department finally remove the Wall Street Occupiers from Zuccotti Park. Local business owners in the area stated afterwards, that it felt great to come to work without having to smell something that resembled a cow pasture.

 

 

BREAKING NEWS – University Park, Pennsylvania – Joe Paterno who recently got fired as football coach of Penn State after a scandal, is now weighing his options for his future. The 84 year old former coach who has been involved in football almost his entire life, stated that he would like to go back to his previous job he had when he was around 20, but there is no longer a demand for marketing and selling pimped-out stagecoaches.

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