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By - June 13, 2012

Unconfirmed Breaking News/June 13th

AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder is now in even more hot water after the media discovered a recent memo that he sent to his staff. In the memo, he warns everyone not to fully cooperate with current investigation regarding the recent national security leaks, because they won’t be able to blame it on President Bush.

BREAKING NEWS – Santa Monica, California – After crashing her 2012 Porsche, Lindsey Lohan files a lawsuit against the state of California. She is accusing them of reckless endangerment after they foolishly issued her a driver’s license.

BREAKING NEWS – Oklahoma City, Oklahoma – An angry and defiant Kobe Bryant, unexpectedly crashes the NBA Finals press conference between the Thunder and the Heat. He stated that he will continue to boycott the finals, because Oklahoma City is too small of a market to represent the west, and they should be immediately removed and replaced with the Lakers. Kobe concluded by saying that the current situation is unfair to NBA fans, and to his countless mistresses in Miami and other parts of Florida.

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Obama is photographed going over his secret “Kill List” with speechwriter Jon Favreau, that was leaked to the public. On the list, included 17 members of Al Qaeda, 12 members of the Taliban, and 9 members of Fox News.

 

 

 

 

BREAKING NEWS – Paris, France – Actress Gwyneth Paltrow has outraged many African-Americans, after she tweeted the “N” word, while hanging out in France with Beyonce and Jay-Zee. She later explained that she was intoxicated, and believed she was living in the late 1800’s. She tweeted the “N”, and then told them that if it became the law of the land, she would release both of them after the Civil War.

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