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By - July 22, 2012

Unconfirmed Breaking News/July 22nd

AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Obama refuses to back down from his statement, that anyone that who has ever created a successful business, cannot take credit for building it. He went on to say that the Wright Brothers should not have taken credit for building the first powered airplane, and the Egyptians should not be given credit for building the Pyramids. He concluded by saying, that he also plans on challenging God in taking credit for creating the earth in six days.

BREAKING NEWS – Hollywood, California – According to a Hollywood insider, the Church of Scientology is already looking to find Tom Cruise a new mate, surprisingly at Disneyland. Because of his issues with his height and ongoing rumors that he is bi-sexual, the Church of Scientology has removed Snow White from the list, and are now focusing on the seven dwarfs

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – According to the head of the ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms) Ken Melson, the sale of guns nationwide has gone up dramatically recently. Melson states that the increase is caused by a combination of people believing that the gun laws will change soon, and people who will probably be suicidal in November if President Obama is re-elected.

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – In a surprising statement, Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan, states that he doesn’t mind if religion is taught in public schools, but under certain conditions. He said he’d endorse the idea as long as one religion was not favored over another, and all students were taught the basic fundamentals on how to be anti-Semetic.

BREAKING NEWS – Mayberry, North Carolina – The late Andy Griffith, who at one time was a supporter of President Obama, was said to be very critical of the Commander in Chief over Medicare. The small town sheriff stated that the co-pay for citizens in his community had increased dramatically for hospital visits over the past three years. Which includes Otis Campbell’s alcohol related illnesses, and Barney Fife’s frequent visits to the emergency ward from accidentally shooting himself in the foot while trying to draw his gun.

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