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By - August 11, 2012

Unconfirmed Breaking News/Aug 11

AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM

BREAKING NEWS – Denver, Colorado – While addressing an audience of almost exclusively women at the Auraria Event Center, President Obama states that it is unfair for Michelle Obama not to be paid for what she does as the First Lady. He said that if that changes, she can be more like him, and blame some of the internal problems in the White House on Laura Bush.

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Civil rights activist Al Sharpton is now stating that the Equestrian in the Olympics is discriminatory toward minorities, because very few of them own horses.  He said to make it fair so minorities can compete, they should be allowed to use anything that’s close to resembling a horse, including pimped out Ford Mustangs.

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – After a successful landing by the Rover on Mars, President Obama congratulates NASA. He stated that if life is found there, he will promptly order another launch to the red planet, which will bring the Martians free health care. The President concluded by saying that if the newly discovered life seems to be liberal, he’ll send a third spacecraft full of voting registration applications.

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Democrats are now questioning the genuineness of Senator Harry Reid’s source regarding his accusations toward Mitt Romney. Reid has publicly stated that an unnamed person close to Romney, is alleging that the presidential candidate has not paid his taxes in 10 years. His sanity and sources came into question, when he later stated that the DNC convention will include appearances by JFK and Jimi Hendrix.

BREAKING NEWS – London, England – After receiving a letter from all of the Arab nations, the Olympic Committee states that they have no intentions of changing their rules regarding track and field. The Islamic countries wants the rules modified, so that half way through any race whether a sprint or a marathon, their athletes should be allowed to stop and pray on a mat, without the time being counted against them.

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