By - September 20, 2012

Reasons To Vote For And Pledge Allegiance To Obama

Actresses throughout Hollywood are now asking people to“plege allegiance to Obama“.  As Jessica Alba stated:  “Growing up, my classmates and I started every day with a ritual: We’d stand up, put our right hand over our hearts, and say the Pledge of Allegiance,” explains Alba. “To me, that gesture was a promise. A promise to be involved and engaged in this country’s future. A promise to work for liberty and justice — and for affordable education, health care, and equality — for all.”

It is good to see that Jessica is taking Obama’s own words to heart:  I think when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody.”

Why would anybody vote for or plege allegiance Obama?  I have come up with all the reasons I can think of to vote for or plege yourself to Obama.

HEALTHCARE: Obama has made sure that everybody will be covered now for free.  Well it won’t be everybody, but it will be most.  It won’t really be free either, as a matter of fact there have so far been 18 new taxes that are the result of the healthcare law that will affect the rich but mostly will hit the middle class.  This doesn’t include the fact that hospitals will lose their non-profit tax exemption, with Obamacare making healthcare even more expensive.  Obamacare promised to lower premiums though!  Obama actually promised premiums would decrease for everybody by $1,500/year.  Oops, premiums have increased by nearly that much for everybody, sorry about that.

How about those Death Panels that Sarah Palin has been warning us about?  Obama did tell the daughter of an elderly mother that maybe her mom would be better off taking an aspirin rather than having a life saving operation.  Think of the advantage of this, you can get to the Will a lot quicker.  Who needs doctors getting in the way of your inheritance?

Obamacare is going to lower the deficit!  Actually when the CBO re-ran the numbers, once they had the correct data, it was found Obamacare will run a deficit well over one trillion dollars over a ten year period.

ECONOMY: Obama has saved us from the depression!  Never mind there is no proof we would have ever gone into a depression, it’s true because he said it’s true.  Don’t let facts get in the way of a good narrative.  Under Obama we continue to set new records for food stamp enrollment (which has doubled since removing the work requirement for welfare), income for the middle class has dropped below levels during the depression, the worker participation rate has dropped to the lowest level since 1948 and because of that the unemployment rate has dropped.  You might ask what is so good about a continuing skyrocketing unemployment rate, well Nancy Pelosi tells us why: “It is the biggest bang for the buck when you do food stamps and unemployment insurance. The biggest bang for the buck,” she said. Obama is a genius!  He has created this record need of food stamps, because it stimulates the economy….right?!….the economy is a run-away train of activity now, right?  We can’t lower the unemployment right now, that won’t help the economy, we need more unemployed to really get this economy going!

FOREIGN POLICY: When Obama was elected he promised the Muslim nations would love us.  They love us so much they are celebrating their love for us by killing our ambassador and sacking a number of our embassies in the middle east.  Obama is so good at foreign policy that when he was given 48 hours notice that embassies in Benghazi and Cairo would be attacked he did nothing to increase security.  Increasing security would suggest we don’t trust those host countries and that would be a bad message to send.  Don’t worry because Obama was on top of the situation, as a matter of fact while our embassies burned Obama was partying with Jay-Z and Beyonce as well as taking his foreign policy expertise to the David Letterman show.  Meeting with the Prime Minister of Israel is not that important during the upheaval in the Middle East, certainly not as important as going to another fundraiser or going on the David Letterman Show.

Al-Qaeda and the Taliban have been giving the US the gift of suicide bombers!  What more could a person ask for?

300 DEAD MEXICANS AND ONE DEAD BORDER PATROLMAN: Obama’s attorney general is an expert at hiding damning evidence.  Who else could tie up the Senate judicial committee for years.  Fast & Furious was an operation designed to get the American public to cry out for gun control, as reports of innocent dead Mexicans from American guns got to the American newsreels.  Yes, the government had to make sure that Mexican drug cartels got a hold of American guns but you have to do some dirty work to accomplish a goal and Obama and Eric Holder are experts at dirty work.

THE DEFICIT: Obama promised to cut the deficit in half while running for President in 2008.  The reality is he has increased it by $6 trillion in 3 1/2 years, to balloon the deficit to a total of $16 trillion and climbing.  The advantage here goes to drunken sailors.  No longer will they be used when describing a spend-thrift.  Obama now makes drunken sailors look like penny-pincher’s.  All drunken sailors have Obama to thank for no longer being used as a derogatory description.  The new term will be: She/he spends more money than Obama in the Oval Office.

SAVED THE AMERICAN AUTO INDUSTRY: Look, Ford is doing great!  Oh yeah, Ford didn’t take part in the bailout.  Obama saved GM and Chrysler though, right?  Obama allowed the UAW to buy a majority stake in GM, against bankruptcy law, and the government (you and me) still owns around 30% of GM.  This is going so well that a former CEO of GM has asked the Obama administration to sell off the remaining shares the government owns, to which Obama said…NO!  GM is finding it is hard to hire visionary people necessary to dream up cars the public wants,  for the salary that Obama has capped for GM.  Obama doesn’t think vision is necessary as long as GM continues to offer cars like the Volt (that has become a complete disaster, GM is losing money for every Volt purchased).  GM has also found the public reluctant to buy from them, because they are partly owned by the government.  Chrysler was sold off to Fiat, so it is no longer an American company, but truthfully Chrysler has had foreign owners off and on for years.

We didn’t want GM and Chrysler to go into full blown bankruptcy though.  Thousands of workers would have been laid off!  Even though unemployment benefits apparently are good for the economy, the truth is nobody would have gotten the axe if either company had declared bankruptcy.  Bankruptcy would have simply allowed GM and Chrysler to re-organize, keeping all their employees but allowing for the companies to renegotiate their contracts with their debtors and the unions.  That would have meant the Unions would have lost money and we can’t let that happen.  If the Unions lost money they wouldn’t be able to bus people to Wisconsin to protest the governor and trash the capitol.

BIRTHCONTROL: Without the birth control mandate, how would women get birth control?  What do you mean, there was no problem with access to cheap birth control before Obama’s executive order?  Copays for birth control was generally very cheap and condoms are extremely cheap, you say?  Who knew!……EVERYBODY!

This is all I could come up with.  I hope this helps Jessica Alba in her quest to get people to pledge allegiance to Obama.  Actually after listing everything here, I think Alba should pledge allegiance to the nearest psychological hospital.  Jessica take my word for truth….all we want from you is another movie where you are wearing tight spandex.  We don’t want to hear what you think, it only gives credence to all the blond jokes.

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Comments (3)


  1. anothercrawfish says:

    Jessica Alba is worth about $40,000,000. Maybe she should start by spreading some of HER wealth around first. When she has no more to give then the rest of us (starting with her Hollywood friends) could take up where she left off.

  2. anothercrawfish says:

    You can go to http://www.jessica-alba.com to leave her a message (guest book) I did (9/30), although I don’t know how long they’ll let it stay up.

  3. web hosting says:

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