By - November 5, 2012

PSA for surviving Election Night Riots

Guiding Lights on Election Night

While dodging zombies, mummies and other brainless wonders on Halloween night, I got to thinking on “how are we going to contend with the disappointed brainless Obama voter on election night?”   The Democrats will do anything to maintain power.  Rumors have been milling about that if Obama loses and Romney wins, there will be mass riots.  Bill Maher and certain members of the Twitter Family are begging for riots like Monica Lewinsky looking for a stogie.

Before I give you the info needed on being “prepared” for fright night, this article comes out of shock that the Obama (“voting is the best revenge”, unless it is a union billy club)Administration has not used their “bully” pulpit to shut down the threats against Romney and his supporters to kill, maim or torture them.  The Tweets are unbelievable and Bill Maher’s attempt at humor by telling people that “black’s know where you live” is a form of voter intimidation and shouldn’t be tolerated.  However, the main stream media’s love fest with this incompetent President continues and so does their cover ups.

If Obama wins; I do not expect another celebration like when OJ Simpson was found not guilty.  Those in charge of maintaining security are on low alert, and we even have the blue helmeted United Nations on our soil to assure us of fair and safe elections.  One suggestion is America will turn into Detroit’s 1984 Worlds Series win.  This may be a good thing.  In Detroit’s case, a fiery riot may clear out some of the debris in Detroit much like a controlled brush fire.

I thought I would introduce some ideas on how to survive the election day riots just in case Romney pulls this thing out.

  1. Depending on your locale, here are some items to consider:  If you are on the East Coast and experience continued flooding, go get yourself a  L.L. Bean catalog canoe.  Nothing shows others what a one percenter can do like a mail order item.
  2. I might suggest purchasing a Barney Frank mask.  However, don’t forget to talk with a lisp. You can also get a Janet Reno mask.  However; don’t forget tot talk like a man. I have learned, homely looking people seldom get beat up during a race riot. Alternative choice would be  (besides Elizabeth Hasselbeck) a face mask of anyone from The View.   Whoopi masks will be especially hard to get a hold of!
  3. Riot proof your house!  Go out and stock up on Obama/Biden signs and put them everywhere in your yard and windows.
  4. If you are venturing out consider a few different signs:  a “one will work for food sign”, one “I voted for the other guy sign”.  Grab a magic marker and white shirt and draw a blob and title the bottom of your picture  “Che revolution”.   These people may not be able to find South Dakota (even when you spot them North Dakota) on a map, but they know a revolutionist when they see one. This will allow you full access onto the burning street to attend your job the next day.  This  also can get you past the union thugs that will be crapping on the streets and hallways who are too busy turning away help from non-union people. If you decide to ride it out inside your compound, having two-weeks of water on hand is always a good idea,toilet paper, fifty pounds of beef jerky (has beef jerky ever killed anyone like spinach, cantaloupe, apples?), leftover Halloween Candy, some Mad-Libs puzzles, flash lights, and of course your “little friends” brought to you courtesy of your Second Amendment Rights.  Heck, apply for some food stamps and unemployment benefits and you don’t need to come out until Crazy Joe Biden runs in 2016.

Take a cue from the Occupy group, look like and smell like a homeless person.  Two advantages here:

  1. Liberals won’t attack a homeless person or somebody from Occupy (Occupy is running the Democratic Party now)
  2. They will assume that you don’t have any money, since neither the homeless or Occupy idiots have money, so you won’t get robbed.  You may however get raped.   Leave your election day riot clothes in a local dumpster for at least 72 hours. Extra protection is guaranteed if you can pour the pee bucket over yourself.

There is a difference between a homeless person or Occupy people and looking like a southern redneck.  I do not recommend going the red-neck look.  It is usually assumed the redneck votes Republican.  Unless you are packing like a southern redneck, I wouldn’t try it.  Of course if you move south, you may be safe regardless.  They will be happy the Herr Obama is out of office.

If you are a lady, or a man who is willing to cross-dress (don’t wear heels, you may be doing a lot of running if you are found out), you could go out in public dressed as Sandra Fluke (DNC’s & Georgetown’s party favor).  You won’t get attacked, but you may get propositioned by every hard up man.  Remind them that the American taxpayer “has your back on birth control”, and if that fails- “let’s have a third trimester abortion”.   

You can leave the house dressed as Dr. Shakil Afridi, the man who sits in a prison for turning in Bin Laden, Obama has ignored him, so will his minions.   For that matter, you can go out dressed as an Ambassador to Libya too.

I recommend not to dress like any of the following: Any Fox News Anchor, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck, unless you like the idea of getting date raped like Ambassador Stevens.  You will need to be careful out there.  Remember, rioters and community organizers don’t have real jobs and seldom require much sleep.  Their main passion is upsetting your world. Don’t let them. I recognize some of this advice is foreign, but you will thank me later.

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Comments (2)


  1. Jason says:

    You are nothing but a racist creep jackass.

    The whole nation can see your ugly pathetic, racist dickness. Can’t wait until Jon Stewart gets hold of this.



  1. […] the conservative Red State Report — in a post titled “PSA for surviving Election Night Riots” — blogger Matthew Jerome […]

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