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By - February 7, 2013

My New York State of Mind

Skeeter shooter in Chief

Another one of President Obama’s speechwriters is leaving the White House for Hollywood.  He wishes to pursue a screenwriting career.  After 4 years of writing for him, he became an expert at fiction…

An Iranian monkey has officially blamed Jews for sending him into space….

Kinda funny how the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind you.  I found out telling an officer the reason I was speeding was because I forgot my glasses and without them, I can hardly see the speedometer, probably wasn’t the best alibi….

Never use on of those shaker weights, while wearing a trench coat, near  a public school….

Did you read about those officers in Miami-Dade that decided to finish their lunch before responding to 911 calls?  I guess Mister Donut’s contest rules stipulates them to be present to win the baker’s dozen. Gee officer, that gut sure doesn’t inspire confidence….

Speaking of our police and the justice system.  Rapper Chris Brown and on/off again boyfriend of Rihanna,  faked his community service record.  Jeez, now he’s trying to beat the system too.

This is interesting. A new survey found that 27 percent of Americans think God plays a role in who wins the Super Bowl. Then Tim Tebow was like, “No. No, he doesn’t.”

Did you see that the lights went out for 34 minutes at the Superbowl? Rumor has that it was caused by Beyonce plugging in her hair dryer backstage.  See what happens when she does not lip synch?

The power outage has Super Bowl officials rethinking their approved advertiser list. Next year the “Clapper” will not be on the official sponsor list.  At $4 million dollars a minute, the makers of the “Clapper” were billed an unheard of $116 million in advertising.

If you think it’s impressive that Alabama’s AJ McCarron’s girlfriend was Miss Alabama 2012, Norte Dame’s Manti Te’o’s girlfriend was Miss Narnia 2009, 2010 & 2011.

Here is my PSA:  New York Yankee’s Alex Rodriguez was accused of using performance-enhancing drugs as recently as last season. So kids, this is proof that performance-enhancing drugs don’t work.

And now- stuff I stole from the internet. I wish I was making this up.

 

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