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By - August 3, 2013

My New York State of Mind- Weiner Roast

Cyber Exhibitionist

There’s this new study that says a wedding is actually the best place to meet someone. Then Anthony Weiner said, “It’s true. It is not that hard. At my wedding I got like five or six phone numbers.”

A new poll came out and says that most Democrats think Anthony Weiner has basically lost his mind. Weiner said, “The important thing is I haven’t lost my phone.”

Bill Clinton gave Weiner some advice this week too.  He told an audience that in his day “he would just take it out and show you”.  The Clintons always hated a paper trail.  Correction, it was Hillary that said she would take it out and show you.

Weiner has told the people of New York that his sexting days are over.  Sales of Polaroid cameras and trench coats have gone up by one.

My two minutes is about to end right about....

Anyone see the bikini pictures of Anthony Weiner’s sexting partner? Sydney Leathers’ face, body and tattoos just turned 1 million straight men into suddenly appreciating the Broadway prowess of Neil Patrick Harris.

Anthony Weiner is the first private citizen to have his text photos put through a 3D printer.  Upon seeing the final product,  Sydney Leather remarked that “he will never be half the man his wife Huma was.”

PETA activist Alicia Silverstone told the media, ” the poor guy has less meat than a vegetarian restaurant.”

Not to be outdone in the media circus, the Walt Disney Company issued the following question, “Does Weiner know that lying only makes your nose grow?”

Poor Anthony Weiner. He dropped to second place in the polls. He has some stiff competition and is no longer in the lead. And it gets worse when you hear the guy in first place is Carlos Danger.

According to the Civil Liberties Union, Carlos Danger’s pictures are available in braille.  Upon reading the book, Stevie Wonder commented he smoked fatter joints in his 20’s.

 

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